Welcome to Row Z, The Athletic’s weekly column that shines a light on the bonkers side of the game.
From clubs to managers, players to organisations, every Friday we’ll bring you the absurdities, the greed, the contradictions, the preposterousness and the oddities of the sport we all love…
Manchester blues (and reds)
It’s not been the best week for the Manchester clubs. When you’re being mugged off by an electronics retailer and Dean Henderson, it’s time to admit defeat.
First up City, whose manager Pep Guardiola was a surprisingly tetchy loser after last weekend’s FA Cup final defeat to Crystal Palace.
After screaming at Henderson during the second half, Guardiola then clashed with the Palace goalkeeper at full time, clearly unhappy with Henderson’s time wasting which had led to 10 minutes of added time at the end.
Guardiola vents his frustrations at Henderson (Robin Jones/Getty Images)
City would never waste time, of course. They’re champions. They’re above all that.
It was almost like Guardiola had been driven to madness, which coincidentally is exactly how Atletico Madrid midfielder Koke felt in 2022. “The match takes you to that madness when you see that you have chances and they drop to the ground and waste time,” Koke said after City had beaten them in the Champions League.
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They also never keep the opposition waiting. Except when they’re being fined £2million ($2.7m) for repeatedly delaying the start of matches or second halves.
To be fair, compared to their Manchester rivals, things aren’t too bad for City, as evidenced by both Guardiola and Manchester United manager Ruben Amorim threatening to quit this week, but for ever-so-slightly different reasons.
We’re paraphrasing slightly, but the gist was…
Amorim: “Everything is terrible and if nobody wants me anymore because I’m really bad at my job, I’ll leave.”
Guardiola: “We’ve bought too many good players.”
Levels, as they say.
United’s week unravelled pretty quickly and can be accurately summarised by two Rio Ferdinand missives on social media, posted eight hours apart.
Message number one
Bilbao Bound ✈️
LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
YANITED YANITED ❤️ pic.twitter.com/4OoiofnjVq— Rio Ferdinand (@rioferdy5) May 20, 2025
Message number two
Get Maguire up top… need players in the box ffs
— Rio Ferdinand (@rioferdy5) May 21, 2025
Yep, it was a bad night in Bilbao. Still, at least Sir Jim saved a few quid on the barbecue.
🚨 Man Utd are planning a barbecue instead of a bus parade if they win the Europa League.
Sir Jim Ratcliffe plans to limit celebrations to a barbecue at the training ground rather than an open-top bus parade through Manchester.
(Source: @hirstclass) pic.twitter.com/k3iFSwLWm2
— Transfer News Live (@DeadlineDayLive) May 13, 2025
To be fair, it wasn’t the worst week for Sir Jim, who enjoyed a really nice day off in the sunshine last Sunday.
Manchester United’s women’s team might have been playing in the FA Cup final at Wembley that day, but Sir Jim was conspicuous by his absence from the women’s team’s most important game of the season.
“In all honestly, I don’t know why he wasn’t here,” manager Marc Skinner said after the 3-0 defeat to Chelsea, albeit other members of the club hierarchy, including CEO Omar Berrarda, did show up.
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We know from experience, of course, that Sir Jim isn’t a fan of watching United in the women’s FA Cup final in person, as he didn’t turn up last year either, choosing to watch the men’s team lose 1-0 to Arsenal on their way to eighth place.
He should probably watch the women’s team more often. He might enjoy himself a bit more, bearing in mind the men’s team have only earned 39 points from their 37 league games this season.
The women’s team? Just 44 points from 15 fewer matches.
The FIFA dynamic
So, those big Oasis gigs are coming up soon.
Remember last summer when the tickets were initially on sale for around £150 and then shot up to £350 because of ‘dynamic pricing’? And it caused uproar, made headline news and Oasis ditched the practice for their U.S. tour? And the UK Government lanched an inquiry into dynamic pricing after people called into question how transparent the process for buying tickets was?
Well, FIFA saw it and thought, ‘We’ll have some of that’, so get ready for World Cup 2026 dynamic pricing.
“We are very critical of the idea, it does not belong to football,” Ronan Evain, executive director of Football Supporters Europe (FSE), told The Athletic this week. “We feel that FIFA’s role is to set the rules, not to profit from the lack of (dynamic pricing) regulation.”
Posted without comment.
Noel Gallagher of Oasis (Patricia de Melo Moreira/AFP via Getty Images)
Social media madness
Maybe it’s this time of year. Perhaps the end of the season just causes everyone to lose their minds and make questionable decisions.
Turns out me and flares dont mix too well https://t.co/qyhwpgn79H pic.twitter.com/QXxcwE6q8p
— James (@Jab0702) May 19, 2025
The play-offs, in particular, have the capacity to send everyone a bit loopy. You might even have to walk 58 miles home from York to Oldham if you manage to lose your car keys during a play-off semi final…
“Whose car keys are theseyjnfeehkkmvxsdhjjhfrtuijhgfffghjjbcddfhhjhffhjncddthjjhvv”😂🤣 #oafc pic.twitter.com/puqmC7fObq
— Voice of the Terraces (@Holdarno) May 21, 2025
Yes, the play-offs just get everyone a little bit over-excited.
Pitch invasions are commonplace, but they don’t usually end up with the winning penalty taker suffering an almighty whack to the head by one of the team’s supporters. Still, play-offs gonna play off…
The winning moment… pic.twitter.com/OyL00AVUCj
— Southend United FC (@SUFCRootsHall) May 21, 2025
At least Gus Scott-Morriss saw the funny side (apologies for the fruity language)…
Who the fuck kneeed me in the head hahahahahahahaahag 😂😂😂😂
— Gus (@GusScottmorriss) May 21, 2025
And finally this week, yes, you might be a fan of Manchester City, or Manchester United, or the Sheffield United admin who accidentally gave out the password to the club’s X account, or you might be the Southend fan who almost decapitated one of your players.
But at least you didn’t do this….
Who needs the #EuropaLeagueFinal when you’ve got this in Bournemouth vs Brentford u21s 😭😭 #afcb #BrentfordFC pic.twitter.com/zMEYmV4nQR
— Ollie (@OllieAFCB) May 21, 2025
(Top photo: Ryan Pierse/Getty Images)
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