Let’s take half a step back and think, just for a second, about how absurd the NFL Draft hype really is. We’ll spend three days watching guys walk across a stage, and another two months in each direction pondering What It All Means. There’s not even any actual football here, and there won’t be for another four months! Friends, we are watching a splashy, flashy job fair! That’s it!
Now, let’s take a full step forward and plunge right back into the glorious spectacle of the NFL Draft. Because despite the fact that the only contact we’ll see is when a massive lineman strides onstage and hoists Roger Goodell like a puppy, the draft is a magnetic event. Matter of fact, we’d go so far as to say that for our short-attention-span, conflict-obsessed, content-heavy culture, why, it might just be the perfect sporting event for our age. Is that depressing or inspiring? Depends on your perspective! But heads up, the chime just sounded and the first pick is in …
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Hope persists. Drafts are built on hope — the hope that this will be the quarterback/wide receiver/edge that will put your team over the top, hope that your franchise’s continued string of draft busts, misfires and faceplants ends right here, tonight. Remember: Everyone’s undefeated on Draft Day, and will stay that way until September. (Well, except the Jets. Somehow they’re already 0-2.)
Arguments do, too. Should Team A have gone offense or defense? Is Player X a good fit for Team B, or will he struggle in their system? Did Team C overreach with their first-round pick, or did they snag a steal right out from under the nose of their divisional rival? Was that a savvy move by Team D to move up in the first, or did Team E fleece them? The draft gives us endless opportunity for high-volume, low-stakes arguments, arguments where — and this is key — everyone is a winner. Until the snaps begin — or until that first-round pick shows up to camp 40 pounds overweight — it’s all hypothetical!
(Yahoo Sports)
The picks just keep coming. Hope and arguments fit our age well, but now we get into the aspects of the draft that are uniquely suited for Scrolling America. First, the constant flood of new data, in the form of picks. Teams have 10 minutes to pick in the first round — well, the Titans have had three months — and those 10 minutes are positively stuffed with analysis of the previous pick and speculation about what comes next. That time span shrinks to seven minutes in the second round and five minutes in rounds 3 to 6. The seventh round gives teams just four minutes to make their pick. Four minutes! That’s hardly enough time to look up the name of that running back from East Poochie State and pretend like you’ve watched him all season!
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Content everywhere. The flood of picks means a flood of content, too — dozens upon dozens of heartwarming achieved-the-dream moments, judgments on red carpet apparel, tender mother-and-son or father-and-son embraces, and awkward shoehorned sponsor moments. There will be 257 players picked, and each one of those 257 has his own story. Surely one of them will resonate with you.
Bite-sized bits. Of course, with 257 picks, and 32 teams, and roughly 10,000 draft analysts, there’s not much room for in-depth, six-part-documentary-level storytelling. What you’ll learn about most of these draft picks can fit neatly into a short TikTok or reel. You’re not meant to think too hard about any of these picks; after all, there’s another coming in 10 or five or four minutes. Watch it, tap ‘Like,’ scroll on.
Narrative over results. The NBA has mastered the art of narrative over results — as in, you can know exactly what the overarching storylines are in the league without ever watching a single minute of live gameplay. The NFL isn’t there quite yet — the scarcity of NFL games relative to NBA ones makes it feasible to at least lay eyes on every game. (Yes, even Titans-Jags.) But the NFL Draft gives football fans a chance to map long-running storylines over current events — like how certain teams (hello, Giants and Browns) can’t get out of their own way even during Draft Day, and how other teams (‘sup, Chiefs and Ravens) manage to snag in-plain-sight gems that other teams overlooked. It’s all part of the ongoing show.
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Lifestyle over event. The NFL’s scarcity means that without proper care and promotion, it would vanish from fans’ minds during the seven-month offseason, and that can’t happen. So the NFL has basically turned itself into a lifestyle brand rather than a fall Sunday afternoon diversion, with the games being only one part of the whole picture. The draft — a traveling roadshow that, before long, will draw a million people to this glorified job fair — is the most successful embodiment of the NFL-all-the-time vision, but it’s by no means the last.
Because once all this draft hype ends, stay ready: The 2025 schedule release is coming up next month, and then we’ll do it all over again. It’s now a seamless cycle, year after year … very much like an endless scroll on your phone. You can now enjoy, and keep on enjoying, NFL content forever and ever.
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