Editor’s note: This is a bonus Weird and Wild column. To read more Weird and Wild from the past week, go here.
Poor Jose Miranda. There are a million things he hasn’t done. But if this past week was any indication, just you wait.
Just in the past week, the Minnesota Twins’ third baseman was out even when he was safe. … And that got him shipped back to the minor leagues … where he headed off to Target … and wound up as the early leader in our annual Injury of the Year competition.
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So you know who’s here to tell his story? We are! Let’s hear a big hand now for … the cast (and chorus) of the Weird and Wild column.
We don’t know if history has its eyes on Jose. But we do. So in honor of his cousin — that Lin-Manuel Miranda guy, of “Hamilton” fame — here’s how we think the cast of “Hamilton” would rise up and put Jose Miranda’s week in its proper perspective.
He might have thrown away his shot
It was only last season that Miranda did something only three other players in history have ever done. He headed for home plate and got a hit in 12 at-bats in a row.
So perhaps you thought that would have been enough to get him into the Twins’ big-league (locker) room where it happens this season. But that was before he wandered onto the base paths last Saturday … where this unfortunate thing transpired.
Umpire called Jose Miranda safe, saying the fielder didn’t touch the base to get the forceout. But then Miranda just walked away and got tagged out anyway. pic.twitter.com/rtgSBNKcDU
— Aaron Gleeman (@AaronGleeman) April 12, 2025
Oops! We think Lin-Manuel could have gotten a whole act out of that scene alone, featuring our chorus singing …
• “What’d I Miss?”
• “Wait for It”
• “Say No to This”
• “Stay Alive”
And … judging by the stories on this game on our very site … that regrettable gaffe appeared to turn into …
• “The Story of Tonight”
Which then led to an even more unfortunate development for our hero …
He’ll see you on the other side
It never feels like a good plan for baseball job security to find a way to get yourself tagged out even when you’re safe. But it’s an even worse plan when you’re 6-for-36, hitting .167/.167/.250 and have an OPS+ of (wait for it) 18.
So what happened to Miranda after that Safe Wait No I’m Not Game? The Twins shipped him right on back to Triple-A St. Paul. And that inspired our Weird and Wild Chorus to launch into renditions of:
• “Take a Break”
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• “The World Turned Upside-Down”
And (with any luck) …
• “You’ll Be Back”
Except then, last Monday, Jose Miranda went shopping. And by the time he was through, he was …
Helpless … in aisle five
By now you probably have heard this story. But just in “case” you haven’t …
According to the Twins, Miranda was zipping through Target and, because hydration is often the key to salvation, he grabbed a case of water off the shelf. Good idea, except …
Those cases of water can get bulky and slippery on you — and this one attempted a daring escape from Miranda’s hands. So he did what any great athlete would do at a time like that — try to …
Catch it.
But those cases of water are heavy, you know! So that didn’t go well, either. Next thing we knew, Miranda was heading for the St. Paul injured list with a strained left hand … incurred in the most watery way possible.
Twins notes from the minors:
– Zebby Matthews starts for Triple-A St. Paul tonight, a week after his last outing.
– Jose Miranda was placed on the Triple-A injured list with a hand strain before playing a game.
– Brock Stewart begins a rehab assignment at Low-A Fort Myers.
— Aaron Gleeman (@aarongleeman.bsky.social) April 15, 2025 at 2:46 PM
We’d advise him to spend the next week heeding Aaron Burr’s advice for Hamilton: Talk less, smile more. But that’s going to be hard, when the cast of Weird and Wild is all around him, singing catchy tunes like:
• “Stay Alive”
• “Helpless”
• “How Lucky (You) Are To Be Alive Right Now”
• “(Left) Hand Man”
• “Say No to This”
And (accompanied by Rocco Baldelli and the Twins Singers) …
• “That Would Be Enough”
Now this can still be a story of redemption, you understand. Miranda’s season isn’t over. Miranda’s career isn’t over. And this will not result in any ill-fated duels — with Ryan Burr or anyone else. So there will always be more chances for men talented enough to go 12-for-12. But …
Yikes. What a week!
So Jose, the world’s gonna know your name. And we’re aware we just helped with that. But who lives? Who dies? Who tells your story?
That can still be you, Jose. Unless you prefer to leave it to … the Weird and Wild chorus! And man, we sure hope not. After all this singing, our vocal cords are officially shredded.
(Photo of Colt Keith tagging out Jose Miranda on April 12: David Berding / Getty Images)
This news was originally published on this post .
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